A Letter to the Girl I Was: Healing the Inner Child After Childhood Sexual Abuse
Acknowledging The Unseen Wounds We Carry
Have you ever thought about writing a letter to the little girl who was hurt and abused? While you may appear to have it all together as an adult—successful, juggling work, relationships, and life—what about the part of you that was deeply wounded by sexual abuse? Who acknowledged her feelings? Who gave her the space to tell her story and express how she felt? Who told her that everything would be okay, or offered the help and support she needed?
If you’ve carried the secret of sexual abuse, chances are no one ever truly saw her pain.
As children, we do whatever we must to survive, burying the pain deep inside. Sometimes, we stay silent because survival demands it, and we don’t tell for several reasons—to protect our families and loved ones, because we fear being seen as “bad,” or perhaps even to shield our abusers. The silence becomes a way to protect ourselves, but it also becomes a cage.
If you met a child who was being sexually abused, what would you do?
If it was your own child, you’d likely hold them, comfort them, tell them everything would be okay, and probably confront the person who hurt them, and you’d do your very best to ensure they would never be hurt again. That child was you, and now it’s time to meet her and finally offer her the love and understanding she deserved.
Introducing Inner Child Healing
Inner child healing is a therapeutic approach that reconnects you with your younger self—the part of you that experienced neglect, trauma, or abuse. These therapies include schema therapy, Gestalt, Internal Family Systems, and CBT—all of which aim to soothe and “re-parent” your inner child so you can heal emotional wounds from the past.
Create Space for Healing: Write a Letter to Your Inner Child
Writing a letter to that child is one of the most accessible and powerful inner-child practices that can help you on your journey of healing. By writing a letter to your inner child, you:
Recognize what happened
Validate her experience
Speak the words she never heard
Begin re-parenting her with love
Instead of focusing solely on the act of writing, think of this as a way to reconnect with your past self. When you write, allow your memories, both painful and joyful, to surface. Let the words flow naturally, without judgment or fear of saying the “wrong” thing. Remember, your inner child doesn't need perfection; she needs honesty and compassion. Express everything you wished you could have heard and use those words to comfort her during those difficult moments. As you connect more deeply, this process can lead you toward healing.
Before You Begin: Reconnect With Your Inner Child
Help your inner child feel seen. Try these simple practices before writing:
Look at a childhood photo—focus on her eyes.
Close your eyes—remember her giggles or tears.
Feel her presence—pure, loving, and vulnerable.
Play childhood music—let memory open the door.
These gentle steps help you connect with her spirit—because she was good. She was kind. She was loved.
Tips on How to Write Your Letter
Take your time. There’s no need to finish in one sitting. This is your space.
Find a calm, private space. Consider lighting candles, using essential oils, or creating an atmosphere with objects that remind you of your childhood, such as toys or books.
Begin by addressing her. Start with “Dear little me,” or “Dear 7‑year‑old me.”
Acknowledge her pain. Reflect on specific events or moments that shaped her reality. “What happened to you was wrong. It was never your fault.”
Express empathy. Empathize with her situation by telling her, “You were alone. You were scared. I’m so sorry.”
Offer love and safety. Your inner child needs to feel safe, so reassure her by saying, “I believe you. You are not broken. I love you.”
Write in parts. Don’t expect to finish in one session as you may need more time. Pause if you need, and come back to it later.
Close with a promise. “I will protect you. I will listen. You are safe with me.”
As you work through your letter and offer love, use phrases that resonate with your current understanding of healing and self-compassion.
After Writing: Let Healing Unfold
After you have written the letter, give yourself ample time to reflect:
Sit with the words—hug yourself, rest quietly.
Allow emotions—cry, breathe, let your feelings flow.
Acknowledge her strength—say, “She was brave. She was kind.”
Read it aloud (if you're able)—or keep it safe.
Practice compassion—offer her warmth and acceptance.
Keep a journal—record the thoughts and feelings that arise after the process.
Maintain the Connection withYour Inner Child
Rather than simply sitting with the letter, think of this as a transformative act. You might choose to frame the letter, place it somewhere meaningful, or even add to it in the future when new emotions arise. As you allow your feelings to flow, recognize that this process is building a bridge between the past and the present. Each tear, each moment of quiet reflection, is proof of your strength and capacity to heal. In practicing compassion toward your inner child, you are reclaiming the narrative of your life, one filled with love, acceptance, and hope.
Inner Child Healing in Action
As you reflect on your journey, take a moment to honor the incredible strength of that young girl. Despite the abuse and the darkness she faced, she persevered. She kept walking forward, never giving up hope, holding onto the belief that brighter days would come. She stayed strong so that you could stand here today, reclaiming your story with courage and love. Recognize her resilience and thank her for the unwavering determination that carried you through. She is a testament to the power of hope and the unyielding spirit within you.
Inner child healing is not a one-time event but an ongoing journey. By taking these steps, you are nurturing a relationship with the child within, offering her the care and kindness she deserved all along. Through this process, you create space for a brighter, more compassionate future, where both you and your inner child can walk together in harmony.
Have you tried writing a letter to your inner child? Share your experiences in the comments or visit our community space: The Chrysalis.
Start Writing Now!
Download our free 4 page, printable Letter to My Inner Child document. It also contains a short guide with instructions so you can do the work anywhere!
Download our printable Letter to My Inner Child pdf