How to Move from Victim to Survivor of CSA and Reclaim Your Power
When I look back on my life, I realize I carried the weight of being a victim for 46 years. For so long, I was buried under the heavy silence of childhood sexual abuse. It wasn’t just an event from the past—it shaped who I was, how I saw the world, and the decisions I made. Most deeply, it affected how I saw myself. I felt small, unworthy of love, incapable of living a full life.
What Does It Mean to Be a Victim?
Being a victim means living in the shadow of trauma. It often comes with feelings of helplessness, shame, and self-doubt. When you’re stuck in victimhood, the past controls your present, the abuse becomes the defining part of your story, and it can feel impossible to break free.
For me, the victim’s story sounded like: “I am damaged. I don’t deserve happiness. The abuse owns me.” That narrative kept me locked away from hope and healing.
What Does It Mean to Be a Survivor?
A survivor is someone who has experienced harm but chooses to reclaim their power and rewrite their story. Survivorship isn’t about forgetting or minimizing the pain, it’s about acknowledging what happened, releasing the shame, and stepping into life on your own terms.
Being a survivor means recognizing your strength, your resilience, and your capacity to heal. It means moving forward even when it’s hard, and being proud of how far you’ve come.
My Journey from Victim to Survivor
The turning point for me was when I began to open up. I started acknowledging my childhood sexual abuse instead of burying it deeper and I worked hard to let go of shame and guilt—those were the heavy weights that had kept me feeling small and unworthy.
I took small steps every day:
Healing my wounds with the help of therapy and supportive friends
Building confidence by celebrating small victories
Learning to be okay with myself, flaws and all
Slowly, I began to see a new version of me emerge—confident, adventurous, and no longer afraid of the world. I felt proud of my good qualities and began facing life with fresh energy and that’s when I knew I was no longer just a victim; I was a survivor.
Steps to Embrace Your Journey from Victim to Survivor
If you’re feeling stuck in victimhood, know that transformation is possible. There are practical steps you can take to move forward at your own pace and in your own way.
1. Acknowledge Your Story
Giving yourself permission to face your past is a brave and vital first step. This might mean writing your story privately, speaking to someone you trust, or simply sitting with your feelings. Remember, you don’t have to relive trauma, just recognize it. Acknowledgement brings the power of truth into your life.
2. Release Shame and Guilt
Shame and guilt can feel like chains, but they don’t belong to you. Practice self-compassion: speak kindly to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Try journaling affirmations like “I am worthy,” or “The abuse was not my fault.” Healing begins when you stop blaming yourself.
3. Find Support
Healing is not meant to be done alone. Whether through therapy, a support group, or a trusted friend, connection is healing. Sharing your story with someone who listens without judgment can lighten your burden and remind you you are not alone.
4. Take Small Healing Steps
Healing doesn’t happen overnight — it’s made up of tiny moments of courage. You might:
Try a new hobby or revisit an old passion
Practice daily self-care routines, like meditation, journaling, or gentle exercise
Set small boundaries with people to protect your energy
Celebrate each moment you say “no” when you need to
Each small step builds your confidence and strengthens your sense of self. Growth often means stepping just slightly outside your comfort zone — and that’s okay.
5. Celebrate Your Strengths
Make a list of your qualities, talents, and things you’re proud of, no matter how small. Maybe you’re a good listener, creative, or resilient. Recognizing your strengths reminds you who you truly are beyond the pain.
6. Allow Yourself to Dream Again
Remember how, as a child, you might have daydreamed about your future — your hopes, your adventures, your happiness? It’s never too late to start dreaming again. Imagine the life you want and take gentle steps toward it, whether that means learning something new, planning a trip, or simply allowing yourself moments of joy and peace. Your dreams are valid, and you deserve to pursue them.
You Are More Than Your Pain
Moving from victim to survivor is a journey — sometimes slow and winding, sometimes filled with setbacks. But it’s a journey toward freedom, hope, and light. You are not defined by what happened to you. You are defined by the courage you show in healing.
From whispers of pain to the wings of freedom — your butterfly moment is waiting.